Donna Jones Blog

What keeps us from living victoriously?  Ever wonder?

Today I discovered at least one thing that keeps women like you and me from the abundant, full life that Jesus came to give us – secrets.

Do you have any?  And no, I’m not talking about the surprise birthday party you’re planning for your husband or the bridal shower gift you bought for your niece.  I’m talking about the kind of stuff that you know is wrong, would make you want to die if anyone knew, but keep on doing, thinking, saying it anyway, kind of secret.

Maybe it’s lust…

or drinking more than you should…

or overspending..

or debt….

or binging…

or adultery..

or jealousy…

or envy…

or angry, out of control outbursts…

or bitterness and resentment..

or shame…

or a perpetual bad attitude…

But whatever it is, it’s a secret that lies deep within your heart and it’s defeating you.

Achan had this kind of secret.

His story is found in the Old Testament book of Joshua, which I read today.  One line caught my attention above all others:

“ Hidden among you, O Israel, are things set apart for the Lord. You will never defeat your enemies until you remove these things from among you.”

God had given the people specific instructions as they entered the promise land:  Don’t take any of the plunder – the booty – for yourself.  But old Achan saw a bar of gold, some silver, a gorgeous robe and he just couldn’t keep his greedy hands from taking them. 

And he knew it was wrong.  You know how I know?  He hid them.  

If he thought taking this stuff was fine and dandy he would have done what we do when we find a great bargain at our favorite store -  we tell everyone who will listen.  Yes sir.  We don’t keep stuff to ourselves.

Unless we know it’s wrong.

Then we hide it. 

But the problem we have when we try to hide stuff is the same problem Achan faced.  You can’t hide things from God.  Which is a good thing, really.  Because secrets keep us in bondage.  They keep us from reaching our full potential personally and spiritually.  “You will never defeat your enemies until you remove these things from among you”, God told Joshua.

The implication?  You’ll keep living in defeat if you don’t remove these things from among you.

And the same is true for you and me.  We will never be victorious as long as we harbor secret sins in our lives.  Plain and simple we have to “remove these things from among us.”  Come clean.  Confess. Repent. Remove these things….

And here’s the good news for us as New Testament believers – Jesus forgives us and wipes our slate clean.  1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  What’s our part?  To confess our sins.  To agree with God that our secret sin is wrong, needs to be brought into the light of God’s unfailing grace and needs to be removed from us.

What’s God’s part?  He will forgive our sins.  He will.  Not “he might”.  He will. And he will cleanse us.  He’ll make us as white as snow. Pure.  Clean.  Free. 

The result?  A woman who lives in victory rather than defeat.  A woman who lives in freedom rather than in bondage.  A woman who lives in the light of God’s merciful love rather than the shame of her own self-loathing.

And that, my sweet friends, is nothing to hide.

The longer I walk with God the more convinced I am that the Bible is the most practical book ever written.  The last couple of posts I have been addressing the need to tame our tongues.  Yesterday I got a chance to put my posts into action.

Here’s what happened at our house yesterday morning. 

9 am:  Sitting on bathroom floor putting on my makeup (I have a great full length closet door mirror, thus the floor sitting thing) Kylie walks in.

9:05 Kylie (18 year old daughter home from college) and I have a fun chat, me in my robe, she in her jammies.

9:15 Kylie explores my drawers, looking for something new (to her) to wear to church.

9:16 Kylie finds an old (I’m talking 1980’s old) scarf and thinks it’s totally cool.

9:17 I think “she can’t possibly be serious”.

9:18 She is.

9:20 Kylie returns to her room to shower and dress. 

10:15 Kylie comes downstairs ready for church

10:16 My eyes get wide.  The word “really?” comes to mind.

10:17 Is that what you are wearing to church?  (Minor slip up)

10:18  Mom, trust me.  It’s great.  I’m a fashionista.

10:19 I stop, pause and think before responding. I smile and say, “well then, let’s go.”

10:22 I remember that I have just applied God’s word. 

I smile to myself.  I am happy.  She is happy.   Life is good.  God’s ways work.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19

So. 

Did you read it? 

If you caught yesterday’s blog you know I discussed how difficult it can be to tame the tongue.  In other words, we (translation: “I”) sometimes have a hard time knowing when to speak and when to say nothing.  And sometimes we know we need to speak, but what we say or how we say it comes out all wrong.  We know it the minute the words leave our mouths. It’s almost like we see the words in those little bubbles cartoon characters use.  Only we can’t erase our words.  They stick. 

So…what’s a girl to do?  Well, yestereday I suggested reading Luke 6:41 – 45.  If you didn’t get a chance to read it, here it is:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴²How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.⁴³“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. ⁴⁴Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. ⁴⁵The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”

Do you know who said these words?  Jesus did.  And when Jesus says something I know I ought to listen.  So, what can I learn about myself and my tongue, according to Jesus?

Well,  to begin with,  before I start “sharing” (cough, cough) how another person needs to change I need to examine where I need to change first.  You know what that would make me do? 

Think before I speak.  

And you know what that would make me do? 

Examine my own heart.

And you know what that would make me do?

Be humble.

And you know what that would make me do?

Have a pure heart.

And you know what that would make me do?

 Speak good things stored up out of the good in my heart. 

In other words, I would say only what needs to be said.  And I would say it at the right time and in the right way. Why?  Because my heart would be right.

Because  ”out of the overflow of the heart, a mouth speaks.”

The bottom line is this:  When I say something mean or critical or judgemental or gossipy (is that a word??) or discouraging, the issue isn’t the person I am talking about.  The issue is me.  My heart.  My mouth.  My issue.  My sin.

The only way to tame the tongue is to stop, examine my own heart and behave like Jesus wants me to behave.

It seems like every woman I know struggles with her tongue in one way or another.  Believe me,  I am no exception.  Honestly, today I felt sick about not just keeping my cotton pickin mouth shut.  And this is the second time it’s happened this week…..ugh!

My problem?  I say things better left unsaid.  You know what I mean? 

Now I know a lot of women might try to stear me away from feeling badly about the error of my ways.  “Don’t be too hard on yourself”,  “You are only human.”  ”Jesus has already forgiven you. ”  Yes, these are the things we tell each other.  And they are true.  But…..sometimes what I need to hear and need to feel is good ole’ fashion conviction.  Because Holy Spirit prompted conviction makes me feel badly enough about my behavior to stop for a moment and think.   To think about what I say, why I feel the need to say it, and most importantly, what Jesus wants me to do about it.

But feeling badly about what I do or say isn’t enough.  And believe me, it would be a whole lot easier if it were. 

I wish I could say that I have the super simple “fix all the error of my ways” solution.  But I don’t.  What I do have is what Jesus says.

OK.  I need to stop right here and go off track for a minute. 

I wrote the whole beginning of this blog not really knowing which scripture to reference as I thought about my dilemna with my tongue.  So I did what I always do when I want to look up a scripture on a particular topic and don’t know it right off the top of my head – I go to www.biblegateway.com and look up the key word.  What I found there just now blew my mind!  Talk about convicting.  You just have to read it yourself.  So stop, go to Bible Gateway and look up Luke 6:41 – 46.  Or better yet, read the whole chapter. 

I’ll post my thoughts on this scripture tomorrow.  And I would love to know your thoughts, too.

Do you trust God?  I mean really trust Him?

If you are like most women the answer is probably something along the lines of “Yes…but”.   Gosh, it can be really, really hard to trust God sometimes, can’t it?  Especially when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Or the resolution to that recurring conflict.

Or the provision for that pressing need.

Or the answer to the heartfelt prayer.

Yes, indeed, trusting God can be very difficult in times like these.  I know.  I have been there.  Five years ago my husband and I sat on the floor outside our laundry room door and talked until the wee hours of the morning about our future.  It wasn’t that our marriage hung in the balance – our entire future did.  You see, my sweet husband hadn’t landed the job we thought would so certainly be his.  To make matters worse, he was given a 6 week “vacation” (translation: fade out of the picture quietly, please) before returning to work for a younger, less experienced new boss.  Ouch.

When you find yourself in situations like this what do you do?  What can you do?

Well….

You can panic.

You can scream.

You can sulk.

You can become depressed and despondent.

You can deny.

You can cry.

or….

You can trust. 

Not in yourself.  Not in “everything always works out in the end”.  Not in “what goes around, comes around”. 

You can trust GOD.

Is is always easy?  Pleeeaaase!

No, it’s not easy.  But it’s safe and it’s wise.  The other options are – forgive me – just plain ole’ stupid.

So, five years ago I decided to trust God.  Or rather, my husband decided to trust God and I trailed along with him. Not quite as confident and full of faith as he was, but moving forward in baby steps of trust all the same.

Where did God lead us as we trusted him (with fear and trembling, I might add)?  To do something we had never, ever considered.  Something neither of us ever hoped to do or wanted to do.  God led us to plant a church targeting a brand new, near-by community without a single established place to worship. 

This past Sunday we celebrated five years of trusting God.

What was the result of our “laundry room floor decision” to trust?

At 9:00am we watched in awe as 2,000 people entered the doors of our new 30 acre facility.  Even as I write this I am humbled to the point of tears.  Am I glad I trusted God even though at the time I had no idea of what lay ahead? 

What do you think?

But what about you?  Five years from now will you be glad you trusted God for what you are facing right now – even though you can’t see what’s up ahead?

I think the answer is pretty clear. 

So decide today – no decide right now – to trust, though you can’t see;  To believe, though you don’t know how; to be obedient, even though it isn’t always easy or convenient. 

Then wait patiently for the Lord.

Lord,

Thank you that although I can’t see the future, you can.  You know what is up ahead and you have charted my path.  Right now I commit to trust you with my future.  I commit myself to do what is right in Your sight.  To follow you, depend upon you and wait for you.  Thank you that everything in my life is filtered through your loving hands.  Draw me close to you, Lord. And use the circumstances in my life to make me more like you.  Amen.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. ” Proverbs 3:5-6

Isn’t it funny that we can be so sure about what character qualities our children need to learn and so deficient in knowing what character qualities we need ourselves?

Our daughter Ashton just started high school and one of the disciplines J.P. and I have been trying to instill in her is the importance of staying with a task to its completion – even if it means friends are texting, your bottom is sore from sitting or you are frustrated when you don’t understand.  Ashton is learning this lesson a lot quicker than her mom.

I am new to blogging and definately new to setting up a blog site.  I have been working on this darn blog off and on for 2 months now without final completion.  What seemed so easy at first has been much more challenging than I bargained for. But yesterday I found myself with a free schedule and a renewed committment to complete my task.  Four uninterupted hours and a sore tush later,  I still had run into too many snags to finish.  “What a waste of a day!”, I thought.  I was seriously discouraged.  Not as much for the fact that the blog wasn’t coming together but more for the (seemingly) wasted hours accomplishing nothing.

Life is a lot like setting up a blog.

It seems easier than it is sometimes.  The truth is that most of us live like accomplishment equals success, which equals feelings of self-worth.  We feel good if we cross off things on our ”To Do” list, discouraged if we don’t.  We are content if circumstances are easy, discontent when circumstances are difficult.

Don’t get me wrong – accomplishments are important.  Achieving goals is a worthy end.  It’s just not the whole story.  Sometimes the goal is more about character and less about achievement.  Sometimes what we really need to learn is to just “stick to it”.  Our grandparents called this perseverance or endurance.  These days “enduring” doesn’t have much of a postive connotation.  When was the last time you heard someone say “Oh goody, I get to endure my day”?  But whether we like it or not, endurance gets us to the other side of something difficult.

Like a rocky season in marriage.

Or a strong willed toddler.

Or a financial set back.

Or a rebellious teenager.

Or a sick parent.

Or the death of a dream.

Other, less tramatic things have to be endured, too.  Mounds of laundry.  Never ending dishes. Work loads more demanding than we think we can bear. But enduring the mundane and persevering in the daily tasks of our lives –  however trivial they may seem – builds something so rare, so precious, few ever develop it.  Character.

And so, sweet Ashton, as we help you develop perseverance in the difficult things of life, may God help me develop perseverance in the difficult things in mine.

“…let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race marked out for us….” Hebrews 12:1

My parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last week. 

Mom insisted we not throw a big party in their honor so instead we celebrated at a quaint but lovely restuarant not too far from home.  As our meal ended we asked mom and dad to recount their wedding day for us  – what a hoot!

My dad, a young football coach at the time, had just received a job offer which meant a move from their home state of Kentucky to Tennessee.  He called up my mom and asked if she wanted to marry him and begin life together there.  A week later, in one of the biggest snow storms in Kentucky history, Carol Pierce and Don Riley became husband and wife.  There was no flashy ceremony, flowers or ring; the ceremony took place on a Thursday evening in their pastor’s office with only my grandfather and an aunt standing in as witnesses.  My mom had purchased both rings – two gold bands which cost $9 a piece since my dad was busy setting up their new home 500 miles away.  My grandfather caused my mom to be 2 hours tardy to her simple ceremony, coming home late with her newly tailored powder blue suit.  And mom cried the entire ceremony.  Apparently, she cried all the way from Kentucky to Tennessee later that night, too. 

My shell shocked dad kept asking “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

“Yes, I’m sure”, she replied through her tears.

50 years later they laughed till they cried (especially my mom!) as they recounted their wedding day. 

But a wedding doesn’t make a life.  Choices do.  

For 50 years they have chosen to love.  To forgive.  To compliment.  To hug and kiss.  To dance together in the middle of the kitchen.  To laugh.  To fight but make up. To stick with it.  To praise.  To care for.  To be loyal. To be faithful.  To keep their promise.

On a chilly night in January 1960 two people who had little more than each other and their faith in Christ, held hands, faced one another and said:

I take you…

for better or for worse

for richer or for poorer

in sickness and in health

forsaking all others

as long as we both shall live.

And they did……

The older I get the more I realize that we women all are pretty much the same.  Honestly, I think it’s true.

Running a quick errand today I met a precious gal who confirmed my belief.  She was quick with a warm smile and a compliment about my small purchase.  I couldn’t help but notice that she had Down Syndrone.  But that wasn’t what really drew me into our conversation.  It was her gentle, kind spirit.  That and her GORGEOUS skin and about the whitest teeth I have ever seen.  I’m talking seriously pretty skin and teeth.  And, you know how it is…when someone compliments you, you say something conplimentary back.  So when she admired my purchase I told her how pretty her complexion was.  She was quick to admit that she takes really good care of her skin and teeth.  (I just love an honest woman! ) 

“Well” I said, “It shows.  Because your skin and teeth are absolutely beautiful.” 

She flashed me the sweetest, most sincere (not to mention whitest) smile I have seen in a long time. 

“Thank you so much for telling me that”, she said as we said good-bye.

You want to know something?  I know just how she feels.

It feels good to recieve a compliment.  It feels good to be told something about the way we look is pretty.  And it doesn’t matter if we are 16 or 60. Black, white, yellow or purple.  Tall, short or in-between.  On the thin side, on the plump side or somewhere right down the middle.  Yes, every so often, we women long to hear that something about us looks pretty darn good.  

Of course, in a world that overemphasizes the externals, we must never overlook the importance of our hearts and our souls.  But still, we are girls.  And girls like pretty things.  We just do.

So, today I resolve to tell the girls in my life what is beautiful about them.  Because there’s a whole lot to tell.

“Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

I have a suggestion for those of you still in the throws of child rearing:  Take time out to have fun.

Today my husband, youngest daughter and I woke up at 5 am (or at 0′ dark hundred, as J.P. likes to say) and drove and hour and a half to a soccer tournament.  And it is Saturday, my one day to sleep later than the roosters.  OK, so I don’t live within 50 miles of a rooster – but when the alarm goes off 6 days a week, it sure feels like it.

But I digress.

After the tournament we stopped to get a bite to eat and ended up in the most darling old section of town.  The kind with quaint cobble stone streets and window boxes overflowing with shades of purples, yellows and greens.  We lingered over our meal, strolled through a few shops.  We laughed and talked.  We had fun.

It reminded me of days when our kids were all younger – before soccer and cheerleading and football and homework ruled our lives.  During those years we periodically took time out for “family fun days”.  We would pile the kids in the car and head to the zoo or Disneyland or some undiscovered place we had never explored and we would stay until after dinner, doing nothing but just being together as a family.  I would pack the kid’s jammies, blankets and pillows and we would all head home exhausted but content. 

Today was like that.  It reminded me of what I have loved most in my life – those long ago family fun days.  Looking back, I sure don’t regret the money we spent or the times we didn’t do Saturday chores on those precious “family fun days.”   And let me tell you something, you won’t either.

So next Saturday, or a Saturday in the near future, stop.  Take time out.  Do something out of the ordinary with your family.  Get out of the house and just have fun together. Sure, the kids may whine and complain a bit, but do it anyway.  You’ll see.  Someday you’ll be thinking back on your life and this is one thing you’ll be glad you did.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

I made a big mistake today. 

I was scheduled to speak to a wonderful group for their annual women’s luncheon.  Months ago the event coordinator and I decided on a theme and speaking topic.  I took careful notes and we have emailed in anticipation for today’s event.  About a week ago I began the final preparations for my talk. 

Only I had one problem.  I couldn’t find my notes.  Now you should know that I carefully document every converstaion with event coordinators so that I won’t forget when to be where, who to speak to and on what topic.  But this documentation was no where to be found.   Not wanting to be remiss I emailed the coordinator and asked for the missing details.  I read them carefully and headed to today’s event.

But a funny thing happened on my way to the auditorium.  I spoke on the wrong topic.  Yep.  You read that right.  Wrong cotton pickin’ topic.

The phrase “God’s Gifts to Women” was plastered all over the venue and I spoke on “You Are Not a Paper Plate”.  I could have SWORN that’s what the email said to speak on.  It wasn’t unil I was back in my car after the event that my mistake truly hit home.  I couldn’t even turn the key in the ignition. I sat motionless in the driver’s seat wondering how on God’s green earth I got my wires crossed.  I read her email carefully.  I even told my husband about my topic.  I planned, prayed and prepared. And as I planned, prayed and prepared I had the strongest sensation that today’s message was specifically meant for someone in the crowd. 

Just as I was about to leave the event a darling gal approached me with tears in her eyes. 

“Your message today was just what I needed.”  She went on to explain, “My husband  recently left me for another woman and I have been feeling like nothing more than a worn out, used, dispensible paper plate. I needed to know that the truest thing about me is not what I feel.  It’s not what other’s say.  The truest thing about me is what God says – that I am loved and valuable.  I’m not a paper plate.  I am fine china.”

Today I was scheduled to speak on “God’s Gifts to Women”.  Instead I spoke on “You Are Not a Paper Plate”.  My “mistake” was God’s gift to a precious woman Jesus knows and loves and cares about.  I guess it’s true;  God’s gifts sometimes come in usual packages – even in the clever disguise of a mistake.

“God causes all things to work for good for those who love the Lord, for those who are called according to His purpose. “  Romans 8:28

P.S  When I got home I recieved an email from another woman at today’s event.  She scheduled me to speak at her church’s women’s luncheon next spring.  Leave it to God to turn my bubbling efforts into something useful for His glory!