Donna Jones Blog

For the last couple of days I have been preparing for a speaker/writer’s conference I’ll be attending this weekend.  And I’ll be honest – I feel a bit anxious.  The preparation.  The anticipation.  The hope that my meetings with editors and agents will go well.  It’s all left me feeling a bit stressed.

Do you ever feel that way?  I’m betting you can relate.  When we step out to tackle something new or out of our comfort zone we can end up asking ourselves “Why did I agree to do this, anyway?”  It just seems easier to live life in the safety and comfort of the familiar. 

But a live lived without risks – although admittedly, less stressful – is also less purposeful.  God never intended us to live life in the safety of the familiar.  No, God desires us to live life increasingly dependent upon Him.  That’s what living by faith not by sight is all about.

But still, a person who desires to live by faith has emotions.  Emotions like anxiety, fear and insecurity.  So what do we do when these emotions fill our hearts?  Well, we can shrink back, turn from whatever is causing the anxiety and run the other way.  Or we can handle anxiety the way God tells us to, which is what I have been practicing all day today.

Philippians 4:6-7 says,

^“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Quite simply we have a choice when the stresses of life overwhelm us:  we can panic or we can pray.  But there is an often missed key to praying in such a way that truly brings peace.  In fact, I missed it for years.  I used to pray in the midst of an anxiety producing situation but honestly felt no different after I prayed than before.  Why?  Because I failed to pray with thanksgiving.  “…in everything, by prayer, with thanksgiving….” the passage says. My prayers must be coupled with my thanks.  Only then is God’s peace released into my life in such a way that His peace guards my heart and my mind.

So today when I felt anxious, I stopped and prayed for God to bless my time, direct my steps and lead me according to His plan.  But I didn’t stop there.  I thanked Him that He would, indeed, direct my steps.  I thanked Him that no matter the outcome, He is in control.  I thanked Him that He knows the plans He has for me and I can rest in His goodness and love.  Now, that’s a prayer that brings peace!  Because petitions coupled with thanksgiving bring perspective. 

So what about you today?  Is there anything in your life that may be producing a bit of anxiety or stress?  God has a game plan for how you can experience peace.  Right now decide that you will handle your stress the way God tells you to.  Be anxious for nothing.  In everything, by prayers and petitions, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  Then allow His peace to wash over your anxious soul.

We’re home.

And boy, did we have a WONDERFUL time in Italy.  In fact, I wasn’t really ready to come back to reality.  Now there’s a place I could live and love!

I enjoyed everything about Italy – including the sights, scenery and people watching.  Based on my observations I came up with kind of a running list of life principles.  I called them “lessons I learned in Italy” and shared them with JP one night over one of our incredibly delicious Italian meals.  So, sit back and pretend you have a big plate of pasta in front of you while you read….

Life Lessons Learned in Italy

1.  It’s worth it to dream, plan and make a desire become a reality.  It will cost you something – time, money, sacrifice – something. But in the end you’ll be glad you did it.

2.  Married couples need to play.

3.  Everyone has something that triggers stress. (based on our “experience” - cough, cough – of getting on the right train in Rome)

4.  Teenagers all over the world think their mother’s are controlling. (based on an overheard comment made by a British teen to her mom – “Oh mom, you are always so controlling”)  To which I say – duh!  Of course we are controlling.  We are moms. 

5. Michelangelo is the greatest artist that ever lived.  But God is better. (If you ever visit Italy you must stay in the Cinque Terre and you’ll know what I mean).

6.  You can find warm, friendly, kind-hearted people all over the world.

7.  You can find sinners all over the world, too. (JP got pick-pocketed, but caught the culprit in the act with his wallet in her hand.)

8.  Good customer service is worth its weight in gold.

9.  History, art, culture – way cool!

10.  Walk everywhere and you’ll never need the gym.

Hope you’re taking time to enjoy your summer, too!

We’re going to Italy! 

Woo Hoo!!!  Can you hear me hoot and holler over the Internet?  We’re celebrating 25 years of marriage and we’re celebrating in a big, big way.  Neither of us have ever visited Italy, so this is a first for both of us.  We began thinking and dreaming about it 5 years ago, on our 20th anniversary, and now it’s here!

What a far cry from our honeymoon!  Can anyone say “newly married and broke?”  That was us.  In fact, last night we were laughing with some dear friends over the fact that we spent our second night as a married couple in Barstow.  Those of you who live in California are now wondering how we managed to survive 25 years with a beginning like that.  For the rest of you, who may be unfamiliar with California topography, let’s just say Barstow is like spending your honeymoon in H-E-double toothpicks.

Which just goes to show you, it’s not where you are, but who you’re with, that counts.

But happily, for the next 12 days where I’ll be and who I’ll be with will both be fabulous.

So….good-bye Barstow and hello Rome!

My mom called the other day “you have a new niece”, she gushed.

Reagan Reese Riley came into this world on July 3rd (oh, the red, white and blue birthday parties that child will surely have!) weighing a slight 5 lbs and 13 ounces.  Reagan was 3 1/2 weeks early.  And she has had a few complications:  undeveloped lungs and an infection, among others.  In fact, as I write this my brother and sister-in-law are home - alone - while their baby lays in ICU. But Reagan is progressing and getting stronger every day. 

None of this is a surprise to God.

Psalm 139 tells us 

For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well.

God made my niece just as she is. Her beginning will be part of her story; part of all God intends to do in and through her life.

God made you just as you are, too.  And just as surely as Reagan is fearfully and wonderfully made, so are you. 

Of course it’s easy to see the hand of God when we look at a baby.  It’s a little bit harder to see His fingerprints on skin ridden with wrinkles, acne or cellulite.  But it’s there. 

So today when you look in the mirror remember that you are you because God made you just as you are.    When you look at your spouse, remember that he or she is fearfully and wonderfully made.  When you look at your children remember that God knit them together.  And as you look at strangers remember that they bear the image of God.

God is amazingly creative.

Many of you have children (or grandchildren) home this summer.  Which means no homework.  No science projects.  No reports.  No tests. No packing lunches.  No getting up at O’ dark hundred.  All this brings to mind one word:  Hallelujah! 

But having kids underfoot all day can also be a bit draining. We become the teacher – full time.  Which, of course, we are anyway.  It’s just that summer time brings this fact a little bit more into focus.

Like any good teacher, we need a lesson plan.  When my kids were young – and even now that they are teenagers and young adults – I used a verse about Jesus’ childhood to motivate and direct what I did with my kids.

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” (Luke 2:52)

This verse provides a four fold track to run on.  Did you notice the four ways Jesus grew?  He grew in…

Wisdom

Stature

Favor with God

Favor with Man

These four components represents the ideal prototype of child development.  A child needs to grow mentally (wisdom), physically (stature), spiritually (favor with God) and socially (favor with man). 

Using these characteristics as a springboard I plan, pray and prepare my children’s activities (or lack of them) – both during the “off season” of summer and the “on season” of the school year.  Taking each child individually I ask:  in which area does this child need to grow?  In what ways can I structure his or her activities to facilitate this growth?

One child might need to grow in wisdom, so a summer prep class, tutor or a summer job might be the solution.  One child might might need to grow in stature so signing up for a sport or making healthier eating choices might be in order.  One child might need to grow in favor with God, so consistent daily prayer for this child’s relationship with Christ and finding a good youth group may be the ticket.  One child might need to grow in favor with man so helping him learn valuable friendship skills or monitoring the friends he has, may be the focus.

In all of this thinking and planning, though, don’t neglect three vital things that only a parent or grandparent can provide:

Love

Laughter

Prayer

Plan for your child’s growth then love your child while he’s getting there.  Prepare for your child’s development but laugh along the way.  And through it all, pray, pray pray.

Then stand back and watch as – over time- your child grows in wisdom, stature, favor with God and favor with man.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” (Prov 3:6)

Do you ever wonder why God seems to speak to some people more than to others?  Ever read a book or hear a speaker talk about how God told them to do such and such and think, “How come God doesn’t speak to me that way?”

I think the verse I read this morning sheds a bit of light on this dilemma.  Generally, we get the “and he will direct your path” part.  But it’s the “in all your ways acknowledge Him” part that trips us up. 

Why?  Because it takes practice to become a woman who acknowledges God in ALL her ways.  Practice and Self-discipline.

What does this look like in real life?  Well, we acknowledge Him in making decisions about parenting.  We acknowledge him when deciding how to treat our husbands.  We acknowledge him when we talk with a friend, or apply for a job or make a purchase or go on vacation.  Simply put, we acknowledge Him when we realize His presence with us every moment of every day while we are doing every thing.

We live with a God consciousness. 

And women who live conscious that God is with them tend to hear Him speak more than those who don’t.  It’s that simple.

Today, just give it some thought.  No, give Him some thought…..

She was 10 and I was 11 the first day we met. 

She sat right behind me in Mr. Engelbright’s 6th grade English class.  It was the awkward, intimidating first day of middle school.  The day insecure pre-teens tightly clutch books to their chest and cluster into groups, hoping they won’t have to sit alone at lunch time.  

That morning I dressed in my brand new back-to-school purple corduroy bell bottoms.  Though I thought I looked totally cool, the pictures my mom always took on the first day of school reveal otherwise.  Coiffed with a short pixie cut instead of a groovy long flowing mane like Farrah,  I had just moved to town and didn’t know a soul.   When Mr. Engelbright called my name, she answered too. 

We are both named Donna Ann.  In a weird series of similarities, we learned that we were both named after our fathers (Don) and our mothers, whose middle names are Ann.  We both have one sister and one brother and when we grew up we both married men whose names are John.

I know.  I know.  Totally bizarre.

But from the first day of 6th grade through the last day of 9th grade Donna Ann Hutchison was my other half.

She now lives in Texas and I live in California, but all these years later we still call one another every June 15th and every October 5th – our birthdays. 

What do I remember about those years together?  Well, of course I recall the countless sleepovers, the batches and batches of homemade chocolate chip cookies, the secrets we shared and the boys we liked.  I remember pouring over fashion magazines together and one day reading about how to make a homemade oatmeal honey mask.  At about 11pm we whipped up a batch of the oatmeal mask, spread it over our faces and went on a run around her neighborhood to work off all the calories we had consumed earlier that evening from stuffing ourselves with our infamous homemade cookies.

I still remember the sticky oatmeal coming off  in sweat filled clumps as we circled her neighborhood in our quest to be the two prettiest girls at Stillwater High.

But what I remember most is how she loved me unconditionally.

With Donna there was never the competitive, catty, drama-filled friendship so many girls endure.  Only once did a smidge of jealousy rear it’s ugly head.   I remember her candid frankness about it all.  “I’m just a little jealous of you right now”  she said.  What refreshing honesty! (and in hindsight – what incredible emotional maturity!) Then we laughed about how silly it was to be jealous of one another, after all.   It never entered our relationship again. 

I always knew she had my back and she always knew I had hers.

When we found out that my dad had taken a new job in far away California, we laid side by side on her bright pink bedspread, bemoaning my move.  Right then and there we decided that someday our heavenly mansions would be next door to one another.

Donna was my first, real, true friend.

She marked the path for all other friendship that would come later in my life.  Her friendship set the bar high.

Donna’s friendship did what every friendship should do:  make you feel loved as you are and make you better than you are. 

A really good friend embraces you with arms opened wide but loves you enough to tell you the truth.  She finds your quirks lovable.  She believes the best about you.  She laughs with you. She cries with you. She prays for you and means it.  She’ll never talk behind your back.  Because if she does, she doesn’t really love you.  A really good friend brings out the best in you.  Her friendship makes you a better person. 

Donna was the first of  many girls that would one day enter my life and be this kind of friend to me.  Today I am blessed to have several women in my life who love me and I, them.

Do you have a friend who loves you as you are?  Do you have a friend who makes you better than you are?

If you do, make sure you tell her how blessed you are to have her in your life.

If you don’t, stop right now and pray that God would bring this kind of woman into your life.  But don’t stop there.  While you’re at it, pray that God would make you this kind of friend to someone else.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the gift of friendship. Please bring women into my life that love me as I am.  Bring women into my life that I can have fun with and share life with.  Bring me a friend who will encourage me and help me be the kind of woman I really want to be.  And Lord, while I am waiting for that kind of friend, help me look around to see women I can love.  Women I can encourage.  Women I can laugh with and share with and enjoy.  Make me the kind of friend others will be thankful they have.  Amen.

“A friend loves at all times.”  Proverbs 17:17

What’s your favorite household chore?

Your answer says a lot about you.

You know what mine is?  Vacuuming.  Although dusting lands a close second. 

Want to know why I like these two tasks best? Immediate gratification.  Yep,  I love seeing miniscule dust particles wiped clean with a whisk of my wrist.  I love seeing flattened carpet fibers spring to life with a push of my Hoover.

Bottom line - I like results.  And the quicker I can get them, the better.

If I’m not careful, though, this can trip me up in my walk with Christ.  Because whether I like it or not, sometimes God doesn’t give me immediate results.  The question then becomes:  will I trust Him anyway?  

This morning I was reminded of God’s faithfulness.

Last summer I went through a season of feeling distant from God.  There was no reason for it, really.  No sin.  No crisis.  No drama.  Just a perpetual feeling that though I read my Bible daily and prayed faithfully, God seemed to be holding me at arms distance. 

It wasn’t a very good feeling.  So I begged God to show me his love.  I asked God to direct my path.  And still I felt nothing.  In fact, I felt a bit abandoned. 

This morning I read a passage that I read this time last summer.  I know because I marked and dated it.  Here’s what I read:

“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you.  Show me where to walk for I give myself to you….Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.”  Psalm 143:8-10

Next to the passage I wrote, “This is my prayer for me, for us and for Crossline.”

A year later I realize that though I didn’t feel close to God during my spiritual drought filled summer, God was right with me, bending low to hear the cries of my heart.  How do I know?  Because this past year God has done what I asked.  He has showed me where to walk;  He has taught me to do His will; His gracious Spirit has led me forward on firm footing.” 

Last summer I couldn’t see it.

I couldn’t feel it.

I couldn’t hear it.

So I just had to trust it.

Looking back one year later I see that it was so.

By the way, did you happen to notice how many times I used the word feel or felt in the previous paragraphs? Just so you won’t have to go back and count, let me tell you:  Seven. 

Feelings come and go.  One day we feel close to God, the next day we don’t.  There is nothing wrong with feeling our feelings.  We are human, after all.  But we don’t want to live by our feelings – feelings are much too fleeting to base a life upon.  Instead we live by faith, or trust, as the Bible calls it.

It’s this faith – this trust – that gets us through the times we don’t see and don’t feel immediate gratification or results.  And it’s this trust that gets us through times when we don’t see or feel the closeness of Christ.

After I read the Psalm 143 passage I flipped the page and my eyes landed on these words from Psalm 145:18, “The Lord is close to all who call upon Him”. 

“He IS close….”

Even when we don’t see it

Even when we don’t feel it.

He is.

Today is the last day of school for those of us in California.  I know, I know…the rest of the county has been on summer break for weeks now.  But for us, finally it’s here!

But with school’s end come finals.  And Ashton has had one class in particular this year that has challenged her in more ways than one – Geometry.  Back in September and October phrases like “I’ll never get this!”  “I’m going to drop out and go back to regular math” or “I’m just not that smart” were pretty common in our house.  It was frustrating for her and for us.  She studied for tests, did her homework, asked questions but still struggled.

So we got a tutor. 

Every Wednesday at 5:15 Nina the tutor walks into our door.  Slowly, methodically, Nina works side by side with Ashton. And bit by bit Ashton has come to master concepts she once thought impossible. 

Yesterday afternoon I was in the middle of the grocery store (shopping again since the kids are eating me out of house and home – which I love, by the way) when my phone rang.

“Mom, guess what?  I got an A on my Geometry final!  Can you believe it?  I got an A!”

Oh, Happy Day!

Now the real point to this blog is this:  where do you struggle? 

What’s an area where – if you’re really being honest – you think, “I’ll never…”

Lose the weight

Get into shape

Finish the project

Land the dream job

Get control of my finances

Restore my marriage

Stop the addiction

Can I be frank?  On your own you may not be able to accomplish what you hope for.  All your effort and hard work may not be enough right now.

You may need a Nina.

You may need structure.  Someone with a plan. Someone who has walked in your shoes and knows how to take you from where you are to where you want to go.

Maybe it’s a personal trainer or a financial counselor or a marriage counselor or a older, wiser mentor. 

Oh sure, you’ll have reasons why you can’t call that person. I had them too.

It’s too expensive.

I don’t know who to call.

I don’t really have the time.

I’ll look into it another day.

But if you wait you’ll be just like Ashton back in September.  Whining.  Discouraged.  Hopeless.

If you get off the dime and enlist the help you need you’ll be on your way to overcoming the obstacle that’s holding you back. 

But remember, Nina didn’t just waltz into our home once or twice and help Ashton achieve her goals. No.  Nina came every single Wednesday.  You may need to see that counselor once a week or that trainer a couple of months or have the friend call you each day.  But don’t let that intimidate you.  Let it motivate you.

If you do, you’ll likely be saying

Oh

Happy

Day!

So go for it!

I’ve heard a lot about the power of gratitude over the years.  Everyone from Oprah to Ellen, from Glamour to Family Circle will tell you about the positive benefits of being thankful.

But I am ashamed to admit that it’s only been in the last six months that I have really put this into practice. Oh, it isn’t that I have been ungrateful.  Quite the contrary - one of my favorite Bible stories is about the leper whom Jesus healed – the one who returned to say “thank you”.   I really, really try to remember to say “thank you” when Jesus answers my prayers. 

It’s just that I haven’t been quite so concientous about saying “thank you” when he doesn’t.

Saturday I was on the phone with a friend who admitted having a smidge of a bad attitude over her husband’s travel schedule.  But, she went on to explain,  she had started saying “thank you” the minute she felt the least bit dissatisfied.

“Thank you Lord, for his job.”

“Thank you that you provide for our family through his work”.

 ”Thank you that he’ll only be gone a couple of weeks instead of a couple of months.”

I totally understood.

You see,  I have been practicing the same thing myself.  And boy, oh boy, I’m left wondering why I haven’t practiced the habit of gratitude a whole lot sooner. 

God’s word tells us to “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ( 1 Thes. 5:18)

Note that God doesn’t tell us to give thanks FOR all circumstances.  But rather, to give thanks IN all circumstances. 

What does this mean?

Well, it means that when you and I find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a circumstance where we would rather scream “Calgon, take me away!” than face head on, we are to give thanks. 

How does this play out in real life?  Let me give you an example from about two hours ago.

At dinner tonight Ashton’s table manners were… let’s just say, less than lady like.   I know this isn’t a deal breaker, but it’s real life.  And it bugged me.

She seemed to think it was hilarious.  I walked into the kitchen to clean up (we ate outside tonight) and muttered under my breath, “that child will be the death of me”. 

But my next thought?  “No.  That child is God’s gift to you.”

And so, right in the middle of my kitchen, I simply said “thank you”. 

“Thank you, Lord, for that child.”

“Thank you that she has enough spunk to drive me crazy every now and then.” 

“Thank you that her personality causes me to grow in ways I desperately need to grow.” 

“Thank you that she is more fun than almost anyone I know.”

 ”And thank you that, underneath it all, she is a really good girl.”

Let me tell you friend to friend, saying thank you is a powerful thing. 

People search high and low for some thing or some one to help change their attitudes.  That “thing” is as close as our own choice to say “thanks”.

   ^“Be joyful always;  pray continually;  give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (I Thes. 5:16-18)