At least sometimes.

If we could control everything we would never misplace our keys.  Never end up in the emergency room. Never have a child who rebels.  Never lose our job. Never run late. Never wonder where we’ll get the money. Never…..well, you get the picture.

Sounds kind of nice, doesn’t it?

Kind of like heaven.

Ah…but we are not there.  Yet.

We are here.

And here, we don’t control things (as much as we like to try).  God does.

This little lesson is one God has been teaching me this week.  I’ll admit that I have learned more about letting God control my schedule/time/attitude/day, by my failures than by my successes.

God’s lesson plan started last Monday when a computer glitch cost me five extra hours on the day my manuscript was due.  I passed that test pretty solidly.  Although I briefly considered taking the route to panic palace, I resisted, and instead simply pressed through.  With a good attitude, I must admit.

But that was Monday.

Tuesday presented a whole set of different setbacks; ones I didn’t navigate nearly so well.  I woke up out of sorts for no real reason, and day progressed from bad to worse.  Delays.  Interruptions. Cancelled appointments.  Meetings with friends that didn’t pan out.  Endless wasted minutes sitting in extra long carpool lines with moms who craftily tried to inch their shiny sports cars, SUVs and mini-vans into the front of the line right before my eyes (That little scenario will have to be the topic for another day’s blog). A car that needed the same repair for the sixth time in six months. Silly stuff, in the grand scheme of life, but stuff that began to pile so high it brought low my ability to gracefully handle the ever increasing interruptions to my well made plans.

May I be candid?  My attitude stunk.

Wednesday was a bit better.  Not so much because of my attitude, but more because my day went pretty much according to plan. Then came Thursday…….

I rose early, dressed for a speaking event, grabbed my Starbucks and hit the road.  Over half way to San Diego (a solid hour from my house, where the event was to take place) my cell phone rang.  “Uh, Donna…I hope you haven’t driven too far…” Turns out the church water line broke and the church had to be shut down.

Seriously.  Like that happens every day.

I hung up the phone and actually laughed out loud.

“OK God, what are you trying to say to me, because you have certainly got my attention?”

Wanna know what God said?

“You get yourself all wound up when you try to control. Your mission is not to control, it’s to steward.  My job to control what happens in your day.  Your job is to manage it. Take whatever I give you and steward it well.”

Now I am sure you are much more spiritual than me and probably never, ever struggle with keeping a good attitude in the face of interruption, inconvenience or insensitivity.  But on the outside chance that things like…

“Mom, can you come here? Again.”

“The meeting is running behind schedule today.”

“Your child is sick.  Please come immediately.”

“I thought I told you I needed a poster board for my project (said at 10 pm on a school night)”.

“Your appointment was yesterday.”

“Sorry for the late notice, but I’ll need that _____ today.”

…ever sends you into the emotional twilight zone, remember the mission:

My job isn’t to control what happens. My job is to steward what happens well.

Is

Finished.

Yes, these are the last words of Jesus.  But no, that’s not what I am referring to today.

I’m talking about my latest book.

It’s done.

Yes sir. I got that baby off to my editor today, though not without a major setback.

Technically, most of the book was completed over two weeks ago, well ahead of today’s deadline. I used the additional time to edit, get feedback from two trusted friends, and rework the last few thoughts on the final chapters.  Yesterday the work was done.  But just before I fell asleep last night I remembered one teensy tiny last tweak.

That teensy tiny tweak turned into one monumental mountain of work.  Or maybe re-work would be more accurate.  Somehow I hit a (still yet to be determined) button that reconfigured my entire 219 page document.  Oops.

Five hours later I finally had the finished product.  But not without two things: a) a really, really good friend who happens to be a computer genius and have a boat load of patience and b) the realization that whenever any of us takes a step toward serving God our enemy takes great delight in throwing obstacles in our way (yes, even if that obstacle is in the shape of a laptop.  Don’t forget the Bible says our struggle isn’t against flesh and blood…)

So in celebration of finishing my manuscript and in light of the events that transpired today, I’d like to share one thought from my book, Seek. Remembering what I wrote, gave me courage and confidence to press on despite the discouraging last minute obstacle I faced earlier today. One line in particular kept replaying in my mind,

Every time a person tries to take a significant step toward God, the devil and his demons will try to pull her away.

Perhaps you, like me, are just trying to follow God. Maybe you’re remaining committed during a rocky season of marriage.  Maybe you’re standing firm against the prevailing culture with your child. Maybe you’ve decided to take a step of faith in ministry. Maybe you’ve made a commitment to study God’s word on a daily basis. Or perhaps you’re just putting one foot in front of the other to get through a season of heartache and difficulty without doing something that would dishonor God.

Whatever step you take toward God, remember that the thief wants nothing more than to steal, kill and destroy that step.

Don’t let him.

Keep going.

Move forward.

Press on.

Stay faithful.

Until it is finished.

Living in the light of the truth and the joy of saying “yes” to God,

Donna

Today I’m thanking God for nothing.

Nothing?

Yes, nothing.

The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind in our family.  Yesterday I was on my way home from an after-church lunch with JP and the girls when I received a phone call from my mom.

“What are you doing?

“Oh, nothing… just getting gas before driving home.”

“It’s probably no big deal, but I wanted you to know your dad just got admitted to the hospital.”

Not exactly news I would call no big deal.

Of course I didn’t drive home, but instead drove straight to the emergency room, where my dad had been admitted for chest pains.  7 ½ year ago I drove to the same hospital while my dad underwent quadruple bypass surgery.  The familiar sinking, kind-of-sick-to-my-stomach-nervous feeling I had back then washed over me again as I drove into the hospital parking lot.

Yuck.

We sat with dad all day, while they monitored him. Nurses came and went, prodded and poked.  We watch the Bronco’s and Tim Tebow while we anxiously waited. Between the football game and my dad’s heart condition, I wondered if my nerves could stand anything more.

This morning I was in a meeting when I received a phone call from my mom, which seemed odd since I had just spoken with her 30 minutes before.  I knew it couldn’t be good.

“Honey, would you mind coming to the hospital right now and sitting with your dad?  Something’s wrong with me and I’m going to drive myself to the doctor and I don’t want your dad to be alone.”

Oh

My

Gosh.

I suggested that instead of making the 30 minute drive to her doctor, she walk downstairs and have herself admitted to the emergency room.

She did.

10 minutes after our phone call I drove into the hospital parking lot—again. First I checked on mom. Nurses came and went.  Doctor’s asked questions.  I ran upstairs to check on dad.  Turns out he was more concerned for her than for himself, so he promptly sent me back to her side.

She was prodded and poked. Tests were run. Periodically I made my way to the second floor to give Dad updates on Mom, and then brought back Mom updates on Dad.

It was a circus.  I guess our family motto should be something like “Go Big or Go Home”.

Finally all the tests were complete and the news came back. First Mom’s results.

“We didn’t find anything suspicious.  Nothing seems to be wrong.  You can go home.”

Then Dad’s.

“The tests came back negative.  There’s nothing to worry about.”

So today I am thanking God for nothing.

How often do we get bored with the “nothings” of life?  As in “I’m doing nothing special” or “We have nothing exciting planned” or “Nothing seems to be happening.”

Nothing can be a little slice of heaven.

Tonight I throw a load of laundry into the washing machine. Fold another one.  I sit and linger over dinner with my youngest daughter.  Talk on the phone with a dear friend.  Play Words with Friends. Do nothing.

I bask in the sweetness of nothing and I thank God for every single little minute of a thousand nothings like these.

Thank you Lord, for nothing and everything all rolled up into one. Amen.

Saying yes to God isn’t as easy as I thought.  Kind of reminds me of a Facebook post I read yesterday.  A young wife, pregnant with her first child commented, “This whole selfless thing is a lot harder than it looks.”  I smiled when I read her post.  Because I know.

This year God nudged me to make a commitment—a commitment to say “yes” to whatever He asks of me in 2012.  Now, it’s not that I’m in the habit of routinely saying “no” to God; it’s just that I’ve never actually gotten up every morning of every day in a whole year conscious of saying “yes” to whatever God asks.  As it turns out, saying “yes” has already proved challenging.

On Sunday morning God prompted me to give an extra gift to our church.  My heart was willing as I wrote the check.  However, less than two minutes later, doubts clouded my mind. “Are you sure that was God’s prompting? You already give more than most people—more than necessary, really.”  I shoved the plaguing thoughts out of my mind as I continued in worship.  Interestingly, we sang “I surrender all to You, Lord”. Hmmmm……

JP got up to preach.  Side note:  Although I live with him, I often have no idea what he’ll be preaching on, on any given Sunday. His message this past Sunday morning,“What Are You Living For?” from 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1, keyed on the idea that the goals we set for our life ought to center around three simple concepts:

1. Glorifying God
2. Encouraging Others
3. Saving the Lost

He went on to explain that when I do what I do–”whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God”–then I’m living my life in light of God’s purposes for me.  JP ended his message with an invitation to commit to following God wholeheartedly in 2012.

In light of my private commitment to say “yes” to whatever, this sermon couldn’t be a coincidence. I knew God was speaking to me. I felt better about my obedience.

But….

Later that evening the enemy tried his tricks again.  Doubt.  Worry. Fear. Thoughts about what I could have done with the extra money I gave to God. I drive a seven year old car and we have a child attending a private college, after all. “Just think what you could have if you didn’t give”, Satan whispered.

But here’s the deal:  the real issue at stake wasn’t whether I wrote an extra check to the church; the issue on the table was will I say “yes” to whatever God asks of me, and keep saying “yes” no matter what?  The “presenting issue” could have been about any number of things—patience with a child, forgiveness for a wrong, purity in thought, integrity in deed, faithfulness to a commitment. All of these require an obedient “yes” to God.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far (and yes, it’s only January 5th so I have a loooooong way to go):

Saying “yes” to God with your lips is easy.  Saying “yes” with your actions is harder.  Staying saying “yes” proves most challenging of all.  Why? Because if there anything the devil doesn’t want us doing it’s saying “yes” to God and sticking to it.

Saying “yes” to God is the only way to live life fulfilling God’s purpose and plan for our lives.  If I say “no” I disqualify myself from being used by God. I remove myself from under the hand of God’s blessing.

Ouch.

So….sweet friends, I am on a private (and now public) journey to see what happens when one woman says “yes” to God.  I’ll admit it’s harder than I bargained for and even a little scary. But it’s also freeing and adventurous. What will God ask in 2012?  I have no idea.  But I’ll say “yes”.

Will you join me?

P.S.  I read this today on Twitter:

“Prompt obedience to God is a shortcut to a great life.”

-Joyce Meyer

What do you do when you feel discouraged, depressed or downcast?  How do you handle life when things aren’t going like you planned? Take the quiz below to find out.

1. When I feel stressed I’m most likely to…
   1. Eat a bag of chips or gallon of ice cream.
   2. Indulge in a little shopping therapy.
   3. Pray.
2. When I feel like crying I…
   1. Bottle up my emotions and move on.
   2. Vent my frustration on others.
   3. Pray.
3. When something I deeply desire doesn’t pan out, I usually…
   1. Feel like giving up all hope and enter into a season of depression.
   2. Buck up, buckle down, and plan how to make things happen.
   3. Pray.
4. When someone attacks me or tries to discourage me I most often…
   1. Think “they’re right”. I’m worthless.
   2. Think “they’re a total jerk” and talk about them to others.
   3. Pray.
5. When my hopes and dreams get dashed I…
   1. Feel angry.
   2. Feel sad.
   3. Feel numb.
   4. Feel like I need to pray.
6. When life isn’t fair I usually…
   1. Pitch a temper tantrum.
   2. Lace up my tennis shoes for a long walk or run.
   3. Pull the covers up over my head and stay in bed.
   4. Pray.

So…How did you do?

In the book of 1 Samuel we’re introduced to a woman named Hannah.  She’s a gal who knows what it’s like to live with a less-than-ideal family situation, where her deepest longings remained unfulfilled. She is taunted, she is discouraged and she is heartbroken, all because she is barren.

Many of us have been physically barren—up to 1 in 6 women deal with infertility in their lifetime–but ALL of us have been spiritually barren, emotionally barren, socially barren, financially barren, occupationally barren or relationally barren, at some point. Maybe you’re feeling barren even now, during the holiday season.  How do we deal with this real-life drama?

How did Hannah deal with hers?

1. She acknowledged her situation
2. She acknowledged her emotions
3. She acknowledged her God

Heartsick, Hannah runs to the temple, throws herself on the ground and begins sobbing out her prayer.  She’s so distraught the priest thinks she’s drunk.  Read her response below;

 “I am a woman who is deeply troubled.  I have not been drinking wine or beer.  I was pouring out my soul to the LORD….I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” (1 Samuel 1:15-16)

Hannah exemplified what King David spoke about in Psalm 62

“My hope finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (He allows me to stand firm against all odds and against assault from others!)

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God.  He is my mighty rock, my refuge. (He protects me when I’m feeling vulnerable and weak.  All my honors and blessings come from Him!)

Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge!”(When things look bleak and I feel barren, trust God.  While in a season of trusting, I will pour out my heart to him and allow his loving arms to be my safe haven)

Notice that neither David nor Hannah pretended their situations weren’t difficult.  Neither swept their emotions under the rug, pretending they didn’t exist.  Neither tried to handle life, with all its barren circumstances, alone.

They ran to God.  They made God their hope, their trust, and their fortress of protection. They prayed, pouring out their hearts, souls and deepest desires to Him.

So, let me ask again…what do you do when life doesn’t go your way?  How do you handle the days you struggle with discouragement, disappointment or depression?

Don’t hide from your circumstances.  Don’t hide from your emotions.  Don’t hide from God.

Pray.